4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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