it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
