waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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