I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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