Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
