you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
