In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
