I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
