you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
