The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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