i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
