uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
