Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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