he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
She announced her abortion via fbk
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
my being single is dangerous.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
