You're so nebulous sometimes
my mouth tastes like poor choices
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
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