he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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