Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
