i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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