My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
