Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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