i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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