she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
