My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
