Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
