So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
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