According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
