Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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