At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
