i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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