You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
