I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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