is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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