i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize