It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
