Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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