I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
