We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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