grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
