I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
pop tarts are not kleenex
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
