ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize