yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
