next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
