I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
