I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
