so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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