but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Randomize
