Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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