remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
