I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
he fucked my hip out of place.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
