Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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