So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
