Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
how do you play pong handcuffed?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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