How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Everclear isn't food dammit
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
