you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
