He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I checked into jail on foursquare
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
