D3 body, D1 cock
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
The feeling are messing with the penis
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
