Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
