Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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