the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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