I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
