It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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