I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
