do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize