There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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