I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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