why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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