They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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