lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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