He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
We smell like vodka and hangover
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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