Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
