so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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