You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
drinking out of a sandbucket again
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
