you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
