what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
COCAINE IS GR8
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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