yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
