I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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